I'll talk to God but the sky is empty.

Good bye.

2009-03-24T03:06:00.003+08:00

Tears from my eyes, glitters like diamonds in a sea of darkness.

And as they crystallised, each borne an image of you, for in my heart, you are immortal.

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A not so fairy tale ending...

2009-03-13T19:47:00.001+08:00

And they didn't live happily ever after.

The End.

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Feelings that were never fully expressed…

2009-03-11T06:44:00.002+08:00

I wanted to write a letter to you, describing how, from a positive point of view, I can see how beautiful life was with you around. But I couldn’t find the words powerful enough to describe it.

I wanted to tell you, how beautiful you look, in my eyes. A refreshing sight for the dark visions that I used to have. How good it felt to have an angel watching over me. How nice if I were to wake up beside you everyday. But yet words would fail me for I can never express myself enough to tell you how beautiful you are.

I wanted to tell you how much I would love to see you each and every moment, how much I would love to have your calming presence beside me each and every day.

And I wanted to tell you how much I wish my angel would not take flight at the end of each meeting, for time is and was never on my side.

But maybe one day, we would finally have all the time in the world, growing old together.

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The beautiful side of happiness...

2009-03-06T23:47:00.001+08:00

Nobody makes me happier than you do.

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A love most basic

2009-02-14T18:41:00.004+08:00

I realised that I could never tell you that I don't love you, because it's impossible to even lie to you at this point of time.

Clutching the silver pendant in my hands as I listen to the angelic voice of some Japanese singer, I thought of the many times our paths intersected. Of the gifts left outside the door of my heart by the mystical god of serendipidity. Of the sheer odds of impossibility of the love between mortals and angels. Of the times we tried to fight the odds.

But no matter where we stand in the eyes of things, it won't make any difference because only what we want is important.

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My white feathered wings valentine

2009-02-13T20:47:00.003+08:00

The explosive feeling of being loved started when I received the shiny silver pendant. It was a symbol of importance and a crucial reminder of something that I sorely lacked.

We took a walk along the stretch of sandy beach, accompanied by a scent of salt that came with the breeze. The walk was slow and time seemed almost… nonexistent.

Despite the probable weight of her white feathered wings, she seemed to walk with a confident stride, keeping in pace with me. She could also probably feel the passion that I have for her, strong and positive.

I didn’t get anything for her this time, but what I have for her comes from the heart, built on a foundation of purity and honesty.

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A realisation of great importance

2009-02-11T22:41:00.003+08:00

When did someone as nonchalant as me realise that I have something important to protect?

It was when life presented me with the greatest gift that I realised that the most important thing in my life would always be there in my heart...

F.M.G

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Would you be here in the end?

2009-01-29T02:18:00.001+08:00

The sky went dark with gloom as a murder of crows passed overhead. The winds whipped up a brutal torrent, sweeping away everything in its path. The air smelt of death and the world went into a state of deconstruction.

I saw the Death God as he stood against a broken wall, a shimmering mirage of destruction. It was an apt image of devastation, like an expensive painting. He nodded, grimly when he saw me. I nodded back.

Where can I go? There are a thousand paths, but they all lead to one destination. There are a thousand solutions, but they only lead to one answer. There are a thousand ways to live a life, but only one destiny.

Would you be home, come this world end? Would you be here in the end? I looked at the sky, but it was empty, like it has always been…

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A world of wait

2009-01-27T23:10:00.000+08:00

Walking along the streets at night, the various displays of neon lights dazzles me, masking my own confusions. And as my mind starts spinning around, I entered my own world of introspection…

I dream of you a lot, these past few days. It’s always fast moving, with sporadic images of others, but as always, my mind was focused only on you. I had never had recurring dreams of the same people in a row of days. Never before.

Maybe it’s my heart, which refuses to give me even a second of respite from the aches and pains. Maybe it’s my mind, acting as a constant reminder of you in my life.

How I long to see you again, with the sky as your backdrop, flying back to me yet again. As I long to feel the purity of your white feathered wings and experience the feeling of love. And when that happens, the pain disappears. Even if it’s only for a short while, at least for that short momentary flight of time, I would have experienced the sense of freedom.

And as I reached the end of my introspection, the path led me back to where I was before, a world of wait.

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Dreams of everlasting

2009-01-22T20:57:00.001+08:00

As I ventured into the world of dreams, each and every piece of shattered memories combined themselves to form yet another delusional illusion.

With the questions that my heart is flooded with, it makes it so hard to even comprehend what or why I am doing all these. But yet, as revealed in the lore of olden days, there is such a thing called love.

But everlasting? Maybe it’s only meant to be a dream, like how dreams are made to be. Broken.

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The beautiful side of death

2009-01-08T00:42:00.000+08:00

At last, the night comes.

And with the darkness of the night as his shroud, the Death God told me: “If death can be achieved as easily, it won’t be such a beautiful thing anymore.”

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Because memories can never be enough...

2009-01-06T20:42:00.001+08:00

The electric tingle of your touch stayed with me, hours after you left. There was an impression of your wings on the sand, where we were resting, hours ago.

Looking back, I see a silent movie, based on the residual memories of what I have of us; of the days where we spent in the swirling changes of the unpredictable weather. Of days we spent, conversing in the usual familiar tones, enjoying the different flavours of our lives.

But yet memories weren’t enough, at least, not enough to open up the doorway to a lifetime of bliss and happiness. Maybe I needed even more memories to make it easier for me to pass through each and every single day. Maybe I needed a chance, to change everything that we could ever wish for.

I longed for more of your time, more of your touch, so that I would at least have more memories of us...

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A place where Angels dwell.

2008-12-31T00:03:00.003+08:00

The final day of the year has arrived. Where angels take flight across the midnight skies, where we wish upon the shooting stars, where we hold our hands together and search for a path in a bleak future.

The New Year would signify a new beginning, one where we would continue our search for a way to brighten up our future and to search for a place where dreams really do come true.

Although I cannot be there to hold your hands when the clock strikes midnight; in my heart, we would always be together. And in my heart, we would always be up among the clouds, nestling among them. A place where we would dwell in happiness for the rest of our lives.

The pain of missing you is beyond words.

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And yet, silence comes again.

2008-12-25T17:05:00.001+08:00

The curtains were drawn, but no stars were in sight. In my heart, it has been raining for a long time. The raindrops has been pelting for so long that it has since became a dull ache. The sound of them hitting the surface has long ago turned into a soothing melody, a placebo that induces calmness more than anything.

I have grown to fear the silence. Before, when it grew so bad that the silence was deafening. A silence so loud it blocked out everything else. I would have welcomed quietness but not silence. And now its back.

As the speed of the decending raindrops reduces, as the sound of the falling raindrops gets softer, the silence grew. And soon, it shall overcome me yet again and I would have to find a new way to end it.

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All our lives, we have been looking and searching...

2008-12-24T10:50:00.001+08:00

It was a windy, lazy afternoon and here she was, lying beside me. The sun was out, taking a breather and the clouds were racing each other over the blue skies. Life was getting better, just slightly but nevertheless, better.

She placed a hand where my heart is and told me that she can sense frustration and pain coming from me. Guilt and heartache flashed across her face in an instance before I took her hand in mine. And I told her this: “Some parts in life, one would fall in love. But for most people, it isn’t till the later half of life would we find the one we truly love. I lived my life for this.” She nodded for she empathised with me.

We remained near quiet for the rest of the day, enjoying the silence and each other’s company. The silence was only broken by sporadic whispers of joy. Soon, it was time to leave. We bided our goodbyes as she took off for the sky, a graceful move that seemed to stop time, freezing everything in its track. I was as mesmerised by the beauty of it as much as how my heart would ache, when I watch her go. And when I see, in my mind, the image of her with her white feathered wings, it fills me with adulation and heartaches. Conscious and yet amazed of how much pain one would cause by just a short departure.

A new year is beginning, and maybe, things would change… and maybe, for the better, for we have both finally found what we were looking for all our lives.

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Casting long shadows...

2008-12-15T21:25:00.000+08:00

Casting long shadows along the sidewalk, I gazed upon the sky. As day drags into night, time moved slower and the wait seems perpetual. When would you be back?

Sporadic burst of heartaches accompanies the forlorn state of mind, bringing me back to reality. And I would be waiting, for you shall be, by my side again.

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All I want for Christmas, is you.

2008-12-09T22:36:00.001+08:00

The rain soaked us to the skin. Cold as ice, the winds pierced through our body as we sat closer to each other, more for the contact than for warmth. As we waited for the cold spell to pass, we felt the cycles of destiny rotating, spinning against the odds of life.

The droplets of rain pounded against the surface of the puddles, creating ripples that resonate and trembles. The tall grasses swayed to the rhythm, further encouraged by the whipping of the strong winds. All around us, sprites whispered and cooed, driven by envy and jealousy.

I smiled as you gave off a tired sigh, for the journey has taken a toil on your beautiful feathered wings. Brushing the raindrops off your arm, I stopped to wonder about our destiny and where it would lead us. Whether it would take us down a path of lights and dreams, or a path towards desolation, it remains to be seen.

But now that you are back, I have an angel as my guide, as my light. And that’s all it matters in a world of darkness. Because right now, all I want, is you.

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A beautiful revival of hope

2008-12-06T09:31:00.003+08:00

Amid the backdrop of the sad setting sun, I spotted a pair of wings. As an angel flew across the evening sky, in a race against the impending dusk, I wondered subconsciously if it was you. And as the angel approached, the heartaches in me exploded with a new ferocity, taking me over as I clenched my fists in agony. The anticipation and renewed sense of hope lifted my spirits as I squint against the glare of the evening sun, straining to identify the angel.

It was you. As simple as that. I was left speechless by your sudden appearance, yet overwhelmed by a sudden flooding of emotions. After your long period of absence, the void in my heart was replaced by a dull throbbing, a constant reminder of the grief and despair that seems to have etched themselves inside.

In a flash, you were beside me, your hand clutching my shoulder, not knowing what to say. And as I looked at your beautiful face, I felt a revival of hope.

Looking into each other's eyes, we both left everything unsaid as we finally unravelled life's greatest mystery.

You were worth waiting for because you are the final piece of puzzle that would complete my life. And with that, my life is completed.

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Defunct

2008-07-17T05:56:00.006+08:00

Dear all,

thank you all for the comments, emails and visits to my blog. Thank you all for the years of support that I needed so much.

Writing has always been a part of my life, a part of me. But, I cannot and would no longer write for reasons known only to myself, and hence, I am stopping my blog. There would no longer be new posts.

Thanks again for everything,
Kelv

Loneliness is a faithful companion

2008-07-17T05:40:00.003+08:00

All around me were dead flowers. The air feels heavy and sullen, pregnant with decay and decomposition. Everyone has left, leaving me with nothing but loneliness. There is just too much pain, too much grief and despair that cloaks itself around me, suffocating me as it tears me from my soul.

The journey has reached an end while the whole time I was fighting a battle that only I alone believed in. A battle that was destined for failure from the moment I started my fight.

And now, with loneliness as my only companion, maybe the next journey would be easier. For there are many routes that leads to escapism...

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Vapour trails and lost memories

2008-07-16T05:29:00.000+08:00

Isn't that what's left?

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It's a sad world we live in...

2008-07-15T02:18:00.002+08:00

When even my dreams bring no comfort, providing no solace for my dying heart. Where is the joy that I have heard so much about?

The angel has long left and her whereabouts are unknown to a mortal like me. And gone with her was whatever residue that I used to have of my soul.

It's a sad world we live in when things come to this...

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And I can only watch...

2008-07-06T21:59:00.002+08:00

Watch on as my little sparrow struggles with her maturing wings, chirping incoherent words that sends me into fits of laughter. Watching her as she tries to maintain her balance while she attempts to stand on those strengthening legs of hers.

Watching with an aching heart as I know that one day, when she opens her mind to the wonders of the world, everything would never be the same again.

And when my little sparrow flies away from me, my life would always be empty, never to regain that gleam again...

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As life spirals out of control...

2008-06-26T23:27:00.002+08:00

I realised that there is never such a thing called FOREVER.

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Days gone by...

2008-06-25T20:23:00.006+08:00

How long has it been, since I last saw you? Gone were the days when time passes so rapidly, replaced by an agonising crawl.

If love alone is not enough, then what is? I long to feel your breath on my neck as you rest your feathered wings, taking a breather from the viciousness of destiny.

Life tires me out...

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If only I could...

2008-06-22T12:07:00.000+08:00

If only...

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If only life is half as beautiful...

2008-06-19T04:40:00.008+08:00

The longest moment

2008-06-18T06:33:00.002+08:00

From the time I started the longest wait of my life, things have started to move slower than usual.

As slowly, time revealed what it has in mind for me, as flowers starts to wilt from the decay of time and my soul slowly drifted away. And I glanced at it with nonchalance as it stared back at me with dislain, at the way I let it go so willingly, so simple it hurts all that we have fought for.

For I am losing myself...

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A song most comforting...

2008-06-02T22:24:00.004+08:00

When I first felt your presence, it was like having a song playing on and on in my head, never going away. Always there... lingering.

And in that song, I saw you dancing, your body synchronising with those white elegant wings of yours, graceful in every move, perfect in the execution.

It was always there when I was feeling down, playing softly, a melody so beautiful and angelic. A calming effect so sturdy it strengthens me and as time goes by, it became a part of my life.

But now, as the song grew softer, I became weaker.

I became dependent on that melody; a song that grew on me and lived within me, a song most comforting. Now I long to hear it once again. And as the energy slowly drained away from me, I grew weaker and weaker each day, hoping only for that one chance to hear it once again and to see you dance again...

If I ever could...

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As my world fades into nothingness

2008-05-29T22:28:00.003+08:00

When Angels fly across the midnight skies, sending impaling spears of flashing lights, I stood there with open arms.

Embracing the destiny that my heart is headed for, a path of ashes awaits.

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Questions for god...

2008-05-28T01:27:00.003+08:00

Oh god, why must you keep us apart? Don't you know how much it hurts?

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26/05/2008

2008-05-26T23:53:00.002+08:00

The day is long but the night is longer. It is so hard to pass the nights without you, each and every single one of them.

That special moment we spent only serves to burn my feelings deeper into my heart as we sow our seeds of love.

And henceforth, the time spent together would never ever be forgotten.

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A visitation on a rainy night

2008-05-11T05:24:00.004+08:00

I woke up into the rainy night; awaken by the loud roars of thunder. The empty void where my heart is, screamed with pain and agony, the aches amplified by the memories that my mind magnified and brought to life.

Among the sounds of the drumming raindrops and crashing thunders, I heard, or mostly likely sensed, a rustle among them. I turned towards the windows and saw a fleeting shadow and I knew that it was you. Rushing forward, I threw aside the curtains and opened the windows, sticking my head out onto the onslaught of the pouring rain but all was obscured.

As I drooped my shoulders in despair and disappointment, a white feather floated its way down, picking up speed as it was soaked with rainwater. I reached out, grabbed the wet white feather and examined it. You were here...

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And yet the Death God comes again

2008-05-03T19:11:00.001+08:00

There it was, standing at the corner of my room again, an androgynous being with dark shimmering wings.

"Do you fear death?" It asked.

"He, who has lost his will to live, does not fear death." I replied.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

The disintegration of a lost soul

2008-05-01T05:49:00.003+08:00

Looking into the mirror only to catch a glimpse of my own grieving reflection brings nothing but introspections. Every single moment that life has given and taken from me, it left nothing behind but memories and only memories. Nothing perpetual, nothing solid.

I felt the pull from the depth of my sanity, urging me closer, to hold it tight within my clenched fist, never to let go; for once it’s gone... it would never come back again. As I chose to heed the call from my emotions, it got deeper and deeper, entrenching itself tighter and tighter to my soul, merging together as one same entity. Yet I felt the pleading, from the depth of my life, as they drifted further and further away from my desire, as I grew weaker and weaker.

There would be no replacement for what I would be losing, for my soul is now, part of my emotions. And I shall soon lose my soul as it disperses itself to the winds of time, for nothing last forever.

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A crashing end to my dreams

2008-04-28T23:23:00.003+08:00

I glided through the midnight sky, embracing the short-lived freedom. I marvelled at the diamonds that sparkled all around me, as they cut through my flesh. Mesmerised I was, by the droplets of my blood as they flew past me, each on its own journey to salvation. But I was stunned beyond words by the cuts all over me. What went wrong?

Then I heard the screams as I came crashing to the ground. I wasn't flying. No I wasn't...

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In the arms of winter

2008-04-13T11:02:00.006+08:00

Whenever winter ends, the world becomes alive again...

In my world, the winter came but it never left. Once in a while, the warmth from the sun would break through the barrier that seeks to engulf me in darkness, but that won't last forever. For I know that the warmth would never ever belong to me. One day, slowly but surely, it would leave my life forever and I would live with my winter forever.

And when I finally fall asleep in the cold embrace of winter, I shall become one with it, an object of anguish, grief and despair.

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Every moment spent together...

2008-04-11T08:36:00.002+08:00

She folded her glorious wings and sat down beside me, clutching my hands in hers. We haven't been spending time together much, but she has always been with me, through every single moment of my life; for she is and was always on my mind.

She was here before I met her, she was here all these while, and she would always be here till the end of days.

So we sat there for hours, waited for the sun to set while we whispered to each other and enjoyed each other's presence. Time flew fast and when the sun was nearly gone, she asked me in a soft but audible tone, if I would wait forever for her and I said yes, I would. And we kissed against the backdrop of the setting sun, burning fiercely as the sun went to sleep. I knew that I would walk through the fires of Hell to be with her and she knew that too.

With a smile that that reminded me of how much I adored her, she stood up, sprouted her wings and flew into the clouds.

Every moment spent together is worth its wait, even if it tore me apart at times.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Goddess of Love

2008-04-07T23:29:00.002+08:00

Oh why, Goddess of Love. Why?

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The scent of Camomile

2008-04-01T02:46:00.002+08:00

The scent of Camomile reminds me distinctly of you. It's like a calming presence that seeks to settle my nerves and bring me to the land of sleep. And it shall stay with me always.

And till the day when the strain of time tears us apart and lay us to rest in the field of flowers, the smell would always stay in my mind, like how you would always stay in mine.

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Just a short note

2008-03-27T23:07:00.002+08:00

It feels really good when you take the time to have a quick dinner with me. I love...

that Jap restaurant! Whahahahahahah.

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Pleas of an insomniac

2008-03-25T05:00:00.004+08:00

Sleep eludes me yet again.

Without the presence of Angels, I cannot bring myself to close my eyes. And even if the body stumbles to the fatigue of daily life, the mind must not falter. The darkness that threatens to overwhelm me is kept at bay but as the day grows older, the shadows grow longer, touching me with their filth, contaminating me.

My mind is getting weaker. As I fight to keep my mind clear, the fight turns to a struggle and slowly but surely, it hovers just beyond the reach of despondency. And as my body grows weaker, I fear the loss of sanity. Only by staying within the aura of the Angels would I be able to recharge myself, to stay alive as darkness lust for my soul.

For even sleep fears the grasp of darkness...

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A gem most adored

2008-03-22T21:58:00.001+08:00

I smiled as I felt your tiny fingers closed around mine, as recognition became apparent on your beautiful face. My heart ached as you placed your head against my chest, snuggled up close, moving happily into your dream world.

The days we spent would be fondly captured; the joys and happiness would be remembered. For you are sorely missed…

A gem like you, priceless would be an understatement.

F.M.G

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

In no particular order

2008-03-21T17:35:00.004+08:00

Black is the colour of the sun;
Time is of no importance.
Death comes slow;
Why can't I just die?
Hatred grows;
Love wane.
Self destruction;
Blood snow falls.
Parched by thirst;
Souls are reborn.

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Upon a dying star...

2008-03-15T15:32:00.000+08:00

The rain has finally stopped and the skies have cleared. And here I sit on this wet patch of grass, waiting for the shooting star to come along, once again. However silly the notion may sound, a hope is still a hope. And I am waiting for that one chance, just to wish upon a dying star, so that it's death won't be in vain.

And I would wait, even if it takes forever...

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The night of flowery scents

2008-03-12T22:23:00.004+08:00

There is a breeze and it brought to me the smell of roses. And it reminded me of the night when the smell of the roses came to you in the Country of Spice.

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A Tale of Passion and Roses

2008-03-02T22:11:00.007+08:00

I took the rose in my hand and examined one of the petals. It had a droplet of blood on it, my blood to be exact. How I managed to bleed, I could not recall. But despite the pain, I could not tear my focus away from it. From the passionate blood red colour of the rose to its intricate beauty, every part resembles you.

Scattered on the ground were petals, burning with redness. And as the wind came along, it swept the fallen petals and they swirled as they rose to the sky in a glorious ascension. Some of them flew onto me, clinging desperately in an effort to stay grounded, but it was all an act of hopeless effort. But unlike the petals, I know we can choose. We can choose to stay grounded or to let ourselves be pushed along unwillingly.

And as they swirled closer and closer together, your image was formed against the backdrop of the clear blue sky, before it was rapidly scattered again by the cruel winds. How I long to embrace your image but to wait, even for a minute is too long for me to even endure the pain and longing. More of the petals tore themselves free from the roses as they surround me in a blanket of red, a red so beautiful that it fills me with heart-wrenching passion and aches, an ache that could not be described by words. And again they formed your image, refused to be stopped by the interference of the winds.

I struck out my hand, reaching for your image, only for the petals to disintegrate, dispersing away, but there weren't any disappointment visible in me this time. For I finally realised that these were all mirages, fake images formed to lull me into the dark deepening gorge that is infinite in its appetite for anything sad.

The smells of the roses were mild and soothing, planting me into a laidback sensation, knocking me back into reality. I have learnt to appreciate the beauty of roses, and in turn, appreciate you. And one day, we shall walk these fields... I promise.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

The Sands of Time

2008-02-24T17:23:00.004+08:00

Oh how one misses you. How one misses your perfectly formed wings, complimenting well with the flawlessness of your skin and the feel and smell of that air of peacefulness that surrounds you like a shroud. How I pondered over the word Angel, a description so beautiful to start with and how it would merge so perfectly with you. How I would sit for hours just looking at you, mesmerised, placing me into a lull that is most comforting.

For the journey that was so perfect to begin with, it ended so well. But when would you leave your dwelling in a venture that would be so painstakingly hard and difficult, so that time would blend together and form one just for us; I would often ask myself. One would wait, however, for that is how my destiny would unravel. And I would sit down patiently, disentangling each and every strand of threads that would serve no purpose other than to weigh us down.

From the moment I set my eyes on you, on that bright and pleasant day, every single second of the sands of time moved so erratically that the rhythm of my heartbeat would form a correlation with it. When we are not together, the sands would flow so slowly, lazily as if it does not want to be disturbed. But when we are together, it would flow so fast as if the fate of the world depends on it.

And I would dream back into our halcyon days, our days of travels into mystic lands that would remain in our memories forever. And in every one of those dreams and memories, you would always be a part of it.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

A new journey awaits!

2008-02-14T01:33:00.005+08:00

I can hear the pounding of my heart in my ears and the rapid drumming of trepidation interspersed with anticipation. No doubt have I crossed the rubicon, it is all worth the effort in the pursuit of everlast.

Of the new lands travelled and the many adventures that awaits, what treasures can be found? For the journey that is about to begin, what shall we anticipate? I can only imagine a path littered with gems of various kinds and many different experiences. And though I would hate that moment when the journey ends, one must realise that for a new journey to begin, the old journey would have to end.

My journey shall embark soon and till the moment it ends, it shall be savoured with passion.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

The vagueness of eternity

2008-02-11T19:49:00.000+08:00

I can't see beyond the stars tonight. And whatever beckons me on, I can feel the pull but like a helpless marionette, I can do nothing to control my actions.

Why won't time take a break so that life would go on perpetually, without the presence of mind to even consider each and every single moment of our lives that we may have thrown away in a moment of rashness?

While every path that we have chosen for ourselves may be planned even before we came to life, is there any way to avoid that dark path we may be heading towards?

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

The beauty of life

2008-01-23T09:10:00.001+08:00

I used to think that life is ugly, freckled with a bit of beauty here and there, like the sprinkling of salt and pepper on a pepperoni sandwich. And through most of life, you just drag yourself through the quagmire of ugliness, chancing upon the occasional beautiful things that would light up your day once in a while.

Life isn't that bad, I guess. In order to see the beauty of life, I had to look into it, and not from an external perspective. Somebody said to me that although it's hard to be positive, I would have to do that. I guess that certain parts of life is like the stacking of LEGO blocks, one piece at a time 'it doesn't have to be slow' till you finish what you want to create.

We create our own life and set our own paths; it's destiny we need to win and I want to win it.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

The Book of Lost Things

2008-01-12T04:43:00.000+08:00

It is said that some things, once lost, would never come back again.

We all jot down the things, feelings and emotions that we have lost through time, in our Book of Lost Things. Some are forgotten as we get older, others remain entrenched in our memories for the rest of our lives.

I just want to lose this Book of Lost Things so that I can start all over again...

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Visitation by a Death God

2007-12-25T17:03:00.002+08:00

"Is it time?" I asked. For there it is, standing at the darkest corner of my room, with it's wings folded.

It is not me that it wants to claim, it told me. For it is my heart that is dying.

Death just comes so easy...

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (2007)

2007-12-24T01:00:00.001+08:00

Hello everybody,

Thank you very much for the constant support, especially this year.

Year 2007 was a rollercoaster of a ride for me. Ranging from the most painful encounter, to the sweetest memories (too many to pinpoint the best), it brings me from the highest peak to the lowest ebb.

There is just no consistency in my life right now, but at least I know what I WANT. And seriously, that is something I can be proud of.

I really want to thank somebody, who have always been there for me, through this extremely tough patch that is just going to get worse, with more headaches and aches thrown in. Thank you very much. Nobody has your patience. You deserve the best in life.

Last of all, have yourselves a Merry Little Christmas because this year, I won't. But I want all of you to be happy. Seriously.

Have a good one,
Kelv

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Through the looking glass into my world of decadence

2007-12-11T21:08:00.000+08:00

Through the looking glass that spans into my dark gloomy world of decadence, we see a world that rains almost everyday.

In my world, the skies are perpetually dark and gloomy, bringing a state of mock destruction and despair to those who enter.

In my world, there is a constant visitation by an angel, trotting along with a red umbrella, but at times, the shade of her umbrella turns to grey when the mood in my world goes beyond her consolation.

But now, I am determined to pull away the dark shades and embrace the sunshine, all for her sake. For she has been coming over frequently with her red little umbrella. Her patience and dedication to my well-being has pushed my determination beyond words.

If she is willing to wait while I tear apart this dark world where I live in, then maybe the world isn't such an ugly place after all.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

For only you would get my love...

2007-11-28T05:07:00.001+08:00

Here I sit, deep in a daze, my mind and heart at where you are; walking beside you, taking in the air you breathe and feeling the stiffing humidity encase the fragile state that we are in. If you can only look through my eyes, to see for yourself what I see when I meet you.

As I played my fingers along the wall that surrounds my mental state, I searched for a crack. A crack that would expose the weakness in the vortex of madness that I am swirling in. If you can only smell what I smell when I am near you.

Would you be able to hear the melody of your own voice when you speak to me in that patient tone of yours? If only you can feel what I feel right now, as deeply in love as I am with you. And only then, would all the secrets be revealed, for there are so many things that I want to tell you.

For you have to be me to feel what I feel...

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Waiting for you...

2007-11-24T09:10:00.000+08:00

It was a gloomy November in 2007 when the heavens cried nearly every single day, save for the days when we were together.

It was the month that I nearly died from excruciating pain derived from a cruel mix of forlorn, loneliness and especially despair. Each and every single day was torturous without you, every single moment dragged painfully slow across a room full of broken glass and every single time you entered my mind, an explosive spike penetrated my fragile heart.

That adulation was costly, but no doubt worth every single painful moment when I get to see you. To hold your hands in my hands and smile at you, feeling the occasionally sunshine in my face, the occasional sunshine I get only when I see you. Kissing you eases my heart and holding your hands gives me the security that I so desperately need. It may seem like an overly-excessive exaggeration but if you were to look back, there was only one day when it rained during our meetings and it was when we were reluctantly parting, on that special day.

No doubt the future seems bleak and blurry, but with some hope, faith and hopefully, some sympathy from the gods high above, we would be able to see the Symphony of Lights for the rest of our lives and not just that one night.

I would wait forever if only for that one single chance...

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

If you ever want to leave...

2007-11-06T04:40:00.001+08:00

Why am I always the last person to know?
Where can I find the cure for the pain,
that I am experiencing in my heart?

Leaning my face against the window,
I looked into the rain,
thinking of you at this same exact moment.

This feeling makes me sick with forlorn,
tortures my mind and hurts my heart.
It's like a sad movie,
playing over and over again.

I thought I could overcome everything,
letting nothing stop me in my pursuit of happiness,
but I was wrong,
for it's all just a wishful part of me.

If you ever want to leave,
I would never try to stop.
For all that was destined and all that was not,
it only shows that we were never meant to be.

I would be waiting at the same old place,
where we first had our real kiss.
Go to the places where we have been,
where we would always be together,
in another part of my memories...

For only in memories, would we never be apart.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

The golden perfection that I found in you...

2007-11-04T19:56:00.001+08:00

Reaching out my hands to brush away your tears, I noticed that the colour reflects the sun. The colour of gold, and hence, it explains how precious each and every single drop is. How every single drop represents a single small event that would accumulate and form the big picture.

And I found that in you, the perfection, and the unblemished form that you are. I see in you, what people see in angels... what they see in hope. I hear from you what we all hear from our favourite songs and melodies. I smell on you what I smell on a field full of fresh strawberries and ripe peach trees.

For each and every single deed that you do, I understand and appreciate. For I have found the golden perfection in you.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

If only they all shine like how you shine...

2007-11-03T21:55:00.001+08:00

The twilight beckons me on,
long gone was the presence of light.
Using the sky as a canvas,
and the stars as dots,
we drew lines to link them up.

As I waited for a shooting star,
the wish in my heart grew heavier,
with the passing of time.
Laden with the fondness,
that I have for you.

But the stars are not blinking tonight,
seemingly asleep on a hot and sullen night.
Why won't they even answer me,
the questions that plagues my mind,
the prayers that makes me weak.

Now comes the first light of dawn,
yet there isn't a sign at all.
The stars are all gone,
so are my hopes and faith,
and my dreams, my dreams...

What vision form for us?
What future beckons us?
What should I do, show me a sign...

If only they all shine like how you shine...

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

And she came to Earth in the form of a star

2007-10-25T19:05:00.000+08:00

Created through the courtship of time, the star clutches herself with uncertainty as she is exposed to the world. Shy, and strangely curious, she opens up her beautiful eyes and takes in the sterilised environment.

And as she is cleaned up, ready to sparkle up the world, a wave of mixed emotions came upon me as I wept inside my heart at her beauty and innocence. As she sparkle me with love and heartfelt joy.

For a star is born and our life is beautified. I would always love you.

F.M.G 1515

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Kent - Tillbaka Till Samtiden

2007-10-21T22:17:00.000+08:00

1. Elefanter / Elephant
2. Berlin / Berlin
3. Ingenting / Nothing
4. Vid din sida / By your side
5. Columbus / Columbus
6. Sömnen / The sleep
7. Vy från ett luftslott / View from a castle of air
8. Våga vara rädd / Dare to be afraid
9. LSD, någon? / LSD, anyone?
10. Generation ex / Generation Ex
11. Ensammast i Sverige / Loneliest in Sweden

Above is the line-up for Kent's latest album (In Swedish) and beside each song is the English translation.

I don't like it at all. Too poppy and electronic for me. This is the first time I have been disappointed by them. Sigh. I would never listen to this album again. They are still my favourite band though... LSD, anyone?

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

And I realised that all angels belong to him

2007-10-14T13:56:00.001+08:00

An electrifying merging of fate, a disappointing lack of destiny

I rested myself against the heavy oak tree, waiting. Waiting for our destiny to blend together, sealing our fate as one.

As you stood there, unsure, our aura scintillated the area where we waited. Your wings were losing its brilliance, your aura losing its vibrant colours but yet when we are together, everything seems to be holding well. It is clearly resonating on the fact that we are all we have, each other. And yet you refused to walk over to where I were, fearing the wrath that would be unleashed upon us, fearing the future that threatens to tear us apart from inside out.

And the skies grew dark, a storm on the brew

We both needed something to hold on to, and we can only depend on each other. But deep inside, I know where our individual destiny lies. There is only one path for you to take and you would always be his.

As I stood up to brush away the dirt clutching hopelessly to my pants, I thought of how we all resembled dirt, clenching every single bit of fading hope. Taking a final glance at you, I strode away.

All angels belong to him

That by itself, is a realisation. As a mortal, I would never be able to have you. To me, you are an angel but to him, you are merely a possession, yet I'm helpless beyond comparison. And with that realisation, the dark clouds parted and sunlight filtered through the dense foliage. Shaking my head in disgust, I realised that sometimes it’s not all about love, it’s about destiny.

As if we have a choice...

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

The fall of the House of Hearts

2007-10-08T19:34:00.000+08:00

Everything has fallen.

I stood among the aftermath of the ruins, feeling the trembles undulating under my feet. Trembles from the tremors that still strives to break me further.

Trees were trampled, houses destroyed and the paths were littered with the dead. Wispy grey smoke rose to the heavens like ascending spirits, mourning sorrowfully as they depart from this world. As the blood flowed outwards, the sand were turned into mud and rivers turned red.

We have waited too long for the rain to come. It never did and it never would. We have met too late for me to change anything.

I have been defeated. The House of Hearts has fallen.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Resident Evil: Extinction

2007-10-07T20:08:00.000+08:00

This is the third and final instalment (I certainly hope not) based on the video game series of Resident Evil (Or Biohazard in Japanese).

This time round, the world has been decimated by the T-Virus and reduced to nothingness despite previous Nuclear containment on Raccoon City by the Umbrella Coporation. Covered by barren lands, the only place on Earth that is not affected by the virus is rumoured to be Alaska.

Alone and avoiding the Umbrella Corporation for years, Alice met up with the survivors who were housing together in a mobile convoy, always on the move so as to survive in the world of the undead.

Carlos Olivera and L.J resumes their roles from the previous Resident Evil: Apocalypse, but this time round, there are the addition of video games characters such as Clare Redfield (Sister of the famed Chris Redfield) played by the super hot Ali Larter and Albert Wesker (traitor of the Alpha/Bravo S.T.A.R teams in the original video games series).

Though lacking other characters like Jill Valentine, Chris Redfield, Leon Kennedy and Barry Burton, on top of many others, this show doesn't lack in its action scenes, putting a healthy mix of suspense, creepiness and excitement between every single minute.

With a fine twist to Alice's mutating powers, the introduction of fast moving zombies and a monster that resembles the Tyrant, Resident Evil: Extinction is, from my point of view, the best of the lot.

My only gripe is that (Spoiler warning) after the breaching of the gate at the Umbrella Nevada Facility, why didn't the zombies stumble into the facility when the gates are already down? Hmmm... Otherwise, I sure as hell am going to watch it all over again.

4 stars (S.T.A.R) out of 5.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Seduction of the night

2007-10-07T06:49:00.001+08:00

It is night now. It always happens in the night.

Swirling around me were the fragments of broken spirits. They beckoned and they pleaded but I didn't care.

I glanced at my blood covered feet, grimacing as I struggled to walk along the path strewn with broken glass. Riddled with shards of heartfelt memories, disappointment and uncertainty, every excruciating step takes away a part of me.

My premonitions were burning me up, a combustion of white hot searing pain, boiling me alive. The throbbing headaches never went away, always elusive, hiding, waiting for the opportunity to torture me further.

Where would I be tomorrow? That remains to be seen...

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

What is love?

2007-09-27T04:43:00.001+08:00

Even with the howling winds and the cold harsh splatters of raindrops, I still feel the warmth within me. Why?

My buddy asked me the day before: What is Love?

Having somebody to think of you regardless of the mood you are in is a surprisingly warm feeling. The sudden rush of passion that engulfs you, the rush of giddiness that threatens to overwhelm you and the boiling cauldron of emotions that creates a mixed basket of feelings that I can only perceive as love.

Next come the sporadic shivers of excitement before you meet up, the increased tempo of your heartbeat and the sudden implosion of every good feeling conjured, right where your heart is when the person finally appears.

And sitting alone in the freezing premises of my office, with the roaring winds whipping up a storm out there, I still feel the warmth within me. That is love and that is what's keeping me snug and warm. You are what's keeping me warm.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

As the night comes calling

2007-09-23T12:21:00.001+08:00

The Esplanade (Click picture to enlarge)

A monochrome projection of Tibetan Dance

An alternate monochrome projection of Tibetan Dance

Dispersion of a lonely soul

Collyer Quay

Collyer Quay (Black & White)

Went photo-taking with Ben and got some pointers from him. If you are interested in his works, click the link on the sidebar of my blog under: Benji's Photography. Cheers!

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

A constitution of heartaches

2007-09-21T04:22:00.000+08:00

Etched into my mind is the image of your beautiful features. Every last encounter with you only seem to depress it further inwards, creating a permanent fixture that can only disintegrate under the combination of absence and time.

Whenever I try to access the countless memories of our time spent together, it only serves to bring a streak of pain that can only be a constitution of heartaches. Each and every single heartache would only pull me nearer to you, like a vortex, dragging me deeper with its irresistible powers. And I would relent, freeing my body from all resistance just to be with you.

For I would rather drown than to lose you.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Carnival of Lights

2007-09-14T22:19:00.000+08:00

Today is one of the best days of the year.

Nostalgic Memories

Serpentine

Acsension

The Invasion

Above the City of Lights

A Matter of Time

Frozen in Time

Hi, hope you all don't mind the poor quality of my photographs (Click to enlarge). Just an amateurish effort in the pursuit of (the beauty of) lights.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

The prospect for perpetuality

2007-09-10T20:55:00.000+08:00

Inhaling the fresh minty smell of a fabulous morning, surrounded by magnificent trees of various shapes and sizes, one can only wonder how well such a therapy works in getting rid of the knots in your heart.

And as I sat on the bench, embracing the unforgiving sun, with dogs and hyperactive children running around me, one can only wonder how beautiful life can actually be. Maybe all we really need is for ourselves to be surrounded by love and joy, for they are like flowers, just waiting to bloom, waiting to show off their pastel coloured petals.

Invisible though the particles of light are threads that link us to our soul mates, trailing behind as we move through the space of time. As each new destiny reveals itself to us, we would have to choose for ourselves the correct one that we would have to lead our lives with. And as we move towards the destiny where we would find what we need.

Me? I already know what I'm searching for, and all I need now is for everything to unfold itself so that I can retrieve my prospect for perpetuality.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

The death song

2007-08-22T23:56:00.001+08:00

Brittle ice covered the skeletal bodies of the trees. As the ruthless wind blew past, it was embraced with lust by those already dying. The cold damp mist hovered around the trees, covering them like a blanket of death. And the song came about.

It sang about the deaths among us, about the melancholic air of sickness that threatens to contaminate our body and corrupt our minds. To lure us to the edge of despondency where degeneration would take over as a new form.

When the assimilation is completed, we would be like these dying trees, singing a song of death...

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

A bleak finale

2007-08-05T23:54:00.000+08:00

My darkness has finally come for me. It didn't seem to bring along the parcel of hope life promises us.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

For to abandon is to die

2007-08-03T08:56:00.000+08:00

And they circled me, like vultures taking to the sky, waiting for their prey to die. I kept my blood drenched sword close to me. The sword I call Angel Breath for an obvious reason.

I started my retreat and one of them dropped out of the sky, its wings folded shut like a rocket, coming towards me at an unimaginable speed. I stood there, immobilized, planning my strategy. At the last moment, it's beautiful wings opened up, revealing a golden sword with the hilt carved with intricate designs, riddled with gems of various colours. Knowing the momentum that was driving it, I dodged instead of parrying its attack, swinging my sword up at the correct moment, taking away the left side of it's wings. It screamed and plunged to the solid ground, the loss of it's wing crippling it's flight.

Then the rest of them came for me, diving down one after another as a shrill filled the midnight sky. As they screamed for their fallen comrade. I walked over as it raised its sword in agony and spat in defiance. With a swift stroke from my sword, it went down, barely having the chance or speed to even strike at me. The gravity messes us up. Just that I have already grown accustomed to it.

Sensing a change in the air, I turned around and took on an attacking stance as the first of the group came at me. Unleashing a series of moves, my sword tore away their existence as I went into a frenzy, unaware of anything else other than the claiming of their lives as my sword sliced through them like a knife through butter. Of those who were involved.

By the time I recovered from the frenzy, all I could see around me were clusters of blood soaked feathers, drifting downwards, seemingly nonchalant of the carnage all around. Five of them remained standing, though one of them was missing an arm.

The leader took a step forward and I recognised him. Long time ago, we fought together against the empire of darkness seeking to engulf the world with its foulness. And I recognised his sword. I used He instead of It to describe this particular one because he is one of those responsible for everything. He is prominent, powerful and is one of those from the High Courts. And his sword... The plainest and most unassuming weapon you would have ever seen. But it has two qualities that makes it one of the most powerful among them all.

He unsheathes his sword and told me: "You are offered an opportunity to repent... but I hope you won't take it." I laughed. He took on a curious expression, already knowing the outcome of this fight. The rest of them just glared at me.

Hefting my sword, I struck at him as hard and fast as I can, but it was immediately parried away. That would be the sword's first magical specialty; every attack would be blocked. He followed up the parry with a slash, then turned and walked away, wiping the sword with a golden cloth.

Another one emerged from the crowd and chanted, holding a staff with it's left hand, and making signs with it's right as the periphery of where I stood lit up. When it was done, it took a step back, eyes never leaving me.

Then the leader took flight, casting back not a glance at me and the rest followed. I stood where I was, knowing that the wound I was inflicted with would never ever close. That, was the sword's second magical specialty.

I sighed. Nobody ever walked away from the truth. My end is near.

Hearing a roar that resembles thunder, yet distinctly different, I looked up to see a golden light rushing towards me and the ground opened up to a glorious explosion.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Maybe it's for the better

2007-07-30T23:59:00.000+08:00

Drinking warm mugs of coffee,
watching a romantic comedy.
Subtle glances,
stealing kisses.

Trailing little hearts with my finger,
on the back of her hand.
Comforting silence,
obessive passion.

Feelings may have faded,
and tears may flow.
Things may be complicated,
but don't let it go...

Watching her do our dinner,
hands feeling out for her.
Awkward avoidance,
burning numbness

Feelings may have faded,
and tears may flow.
Things may be complicated,
but don't let it go...

*Repeat Chorus*

Packing her suitcase,
she left in silence.
Maybe it's for the better....

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

A very special dedication

2007-07-28T18:53:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Dada!

May all your wishes come true! I'm sorry for not getting you anything special for your birthday.

Thank you for the IPOD. This is the first time I have received a present from the birthday girl herself and it's a very generous gesture.

I hope that this posting would be somewhat different from the normal cards and well-wishes.

=)

Love always,
Kelv

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Together in wilderness

2007-07-21T15:07:00.001+08:00

Something that would never happen.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Memories...

2007-07-15T21:50:00.000+08:00

I felt myself growing older as my memories slowly dissapiate into thin air, lost to the trials of time. The body is still alive, but the soul is dying.

We should never allow our memories to fade away because each fragment represents a part of us.

When the best of them is completely gone, we die.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

A life of abstraction

2007-07-11T21:17:00.000+08:00

It was 11.59 am, one more minute to noon when everything started to die.

All around me, the world shattered... slowly but surely.

The butterfly was resting on my palm when it disintegrated, it's body breaking into millions of fragments, slowly, as if time wanted to savour it's painful termination. Then the wind came along and the fragments were all blown away. The fragile ones go first.

The colour of the world changes into dull shades of grey. The skins of buildings tore off like dried skin, trees burned and even the clouds were changing, like melting cotton candy. And from far, the golden sun imploded into itself and darkness rushed towards me, anxious to engulf me, its infinite hunger bringing it to the brink of madness.

By noon, I can see no more.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

For you filled up the emptiness within me

2007-07-08T22:37:00.001+08:00

I shuffled my downtrodden self among the sands of despair, lonely and wandering aimlessly, driven by the thirst for what most of us really want and need. We all tend to treat it callously, taking in each and every ounce for granted, without realising the need for reciprocal.

As I grab hold of it like how one would try to hold on futilely to sand, I can feel them seeping through my fingers as I try in vain to hold on to whatever I have left. Whatever sanity and faith I have, I can feel them flowing away rapidly, along with my soul, or whatever one calls the thing that keeps me alive.

That was until I felt the empathy from you, a figure of great fire, casting away the darkness around me, lighting me up in a fiery embrace. And abundance filled my hands.

(Fearful of judgement keeps most of them away, with the rest shuffling behind shadows. However, no didactic scrolls of moralistic lessons would serve to instruct me on the rights and wrongs of humanity because I know what I want.)

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The darkest of my soul

2007-07-02T23:46:00.000+08:00

The sky hasn't cleared up for a while, but it doesn't matter as the eye of the storm is within me. Alas, even with the harshest projection of the sun's strongest ray, with its glorious light, cannot penetrate the darkest corner of my soul.

For here I stand alone, bracing myself for what's to come. Maybe next life would be better, if the world doesn't end too soon. Maybe and only maybe...

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Even waiting has it's purpose

2007-06-12T08:54:00.000+08:00

Sitting idly under a Casuarina tree, I had a photo album in my hands. With inquisitiveness being it's sole reason, the wind took over the flipping of the pages. And with each photo bringing an increasing layer of nostalgia, all I could do was to look on as my heart builds up in a contest of intensity.

With each photo of happy faces, beautiful memories started flooding in, engulfing me with a new heightened sense of passion and purpose. The wind whispered to me, divulging secrets that should never be told. On its gentle caress and subtle nudging, I got up, a renewed layer of confidence enshrouding me in its calm embrace.

And from that moment, I knew that one day, we would be together.

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Everything happens for a reason

2007-06-05T21:33:00.000+08:00

I waited for the rain to fall, even though the sky was clear.

You should know why.

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Cable Ski : A new addiction

2007-05-29T16:04:00.000+08:00

Oh man, I'm so addicted to Cable Ski that I went there 3x last week! If anybody wants more information, please kindly go to: www.ski360degree.com

It's kind of pricey, but if you go on a weekday, it's going to save you a lot of money on the long run. I go there every Monday in the morning, so if anybody wants to join, just email or call me ya!!!!!!!!

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

The transition of loneliness

2007-05-20T22:22:00.000+08:00

The moon was drenched in a nimbus of pale light as I looked upon it for guidance. I was completely disconcerted by the prospect or possibility of not being loved by the angel that I had been searching for.

From it's fall to earth, to it's long transition from spiritual to human form, I had been the only one. And I watched as it tore off it's wings in sheer agony and pain, with the burst of a bright light signalling the escape of it's powers. The soundless cry and it's weeping eyes nearly tore me apart with self-pity but it was soon over. I had been with it while it changed to one of us.

And yet it may not love me so...

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28 weeks later

2007-05-14T09:40:00.000+08:00

Ok, I have decided that I like the show.

28 Weeks Later is the sequel to the successful sleeper hit, 28 Days Later. It starts 6 months later (If you want to know more, please go and get Steve Niles's graphic novel *28 Days Later, Aftermath* because it's really good and as a fan, I'm sure you would enjoy it).

28 weeks after the RAGE virus has decimated London, the US Army declares that the carriers are all dead, and the reconstruction of the country can begin. It would start slowly, of course, but eventually, would be done. So they started letting the refugees into the country, but containing them in an enclosed sector.

However, when a family is reunited, a terrible secret is unleashed, and a mutated rage virus would always mean further bad news. I'm not going to reveal anything here, so please go watch it if you like 28 Days Later.

Its not directed by Danny Boyle this time round, though he is an executive producer. Its more graphically violent this round and the pace is still considerably fast. I just wished that the show has more time to explain certain things, because it looks like a rushed project.

Go watch it, if just to get an adrenaline shot.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Darkness comes

2007-05-13T15:38:00.000+08:00

Is this what Death looks like? Nothing but perpetual darkness?

Death seems like a warm embrace on a deathly cold night, freighted with problems that are near impossible to solve. And with the continuous curtain of heavy rain, all hopes and probable solutions are blanketed, and destiny is all but sealed.

What remains alive in this empty husk? Is to sleep forever a valid solution?

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

The end is near

2007-05-07T14:38:00.001+08:00

Our days are numbered

It watches from afar, biding its time. Waiting for the chance to strike. Waiting for humans to waste themselves on senseless wars. For us to deplete our resources on an internal war against our own species.

And the harbinger would soon sound its horn

When it comes, it would strike with the wrath of god and bring forth the image of hell. It would take its time in the consumption of our planet, bringing devastation and chaos to all of us in the most painful form.

And we shall all burn...

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

To piece a puzzle

2007-05-02T21:41:00.000+08:00

When you have the shape of the puzzle in your mind, all it needs is the dedication and devotion. I have both. All I have to do is to piece it together with you, with time taking the role of the watcher.

With the finding of each perfect piece, it’s like taking another step towards completion. Sometimes, frustration sets in when we are unable to find the missing pieces, but eventually, we would get to where we are destined to go.

While it is true that all may not be simple, and the puzzle may be left in a forgotten or decrepit state, but as long as we are determined, we would reach our destination.

A jigsaw puzzle is a reflective image of our relationship. Each and every individual piece is unique and important. Some may come easy, others require more time and patience, yet there are the rare (simply mind-boggling) few that requires a lot more problem solving skills.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

I'm so sorry..

2007-05-01T22:10:00.000+08:00

I would never forgive myself...

Nothing lasts forever...

2007-04-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

That's why I'm waiting for you.

I sat at a corner, watching you. And there you were, perched upon the highest place, looking down at us mortals. You always told me, that you are not perfect. And yet, how imperfect can angels be?

And as I waited, the trials of fire and countless tribulations starts to afflict me with a disease. A disease that lives among men. A disease called desire. And from desire, pain originates. And escalates as time moves against the gravity of time and space.

Each and every move I make, I can feel the shards tearing me apart from inside. And you know it. So you told me not to wait, to enjoy the present and ignore the future.

Yet if nothing lasts forever, then won't the wait be worthy?

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The deaths of the fallen stars

2007-04-09T20:30:00.000+08:00

The shower of meteors scattered across the crimson sky, each with its own path to its fiery end.

I watched as each streak of stars shot past with their tails on fire, pushing, burning, on its path to its own sad disintegration.

And I wondered, about their entry into our atmosphere, into Earth's destructive environment, and I wondered, if they know about their impending deaths. As their body tore apart into millions of fragments, the process slow and excruciating, their soundless howls of agony reaches my heart.

And I wondered about the wishes cast by those who saw the falling stars. Those who made their wishes upon the dying glows of the beautiful enigmatic stars.

And I wondered on as a pang of sadness filled my heart, of the deaths of the stars and the dying of my soul as it dims with the eventual deconstruction of the fallen stars.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

The breaking of dawn

2007-04-07T06:47:00.000+08:00

Dawn is near, yet sleep is hard to come. My battered body was feeling the lethargy before I retired for the night, yet as I crawled onto the soft embracing comfort of my bed, sleep surreptitiously slipped out of my grasp.

My only comfort lies in the fact that you are always on my mind. Because having your company in the dull silence of space between consciousness and sleep keeps loneliness at bay.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

A decision for life

2007-04-05T19:58:00.000+08:00

Many times in life, decisions are made based on the weighing of advantages or based on what you actually want.

I guess sometimes, you know that basically, everything weighs against you. But so long as that is what you want, then right or wrong doesn't matter anymore.

Because humans are selfish and this is what I want. And I would stand by it no matter what happens, because it completes my life.

You complete my life.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission

Do you know why I love to make you smile?

2007-03-27T21:38:00.000+08:00

Because your smile is the most beautiful thing in the world.

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Season of falling leaves

2007-03-24T00:08:00.000+08:00

It is yet again, the season of falling leaves. And in the garden, I wandered among these magnificent trees, watching as the yellow leaves curl up and detach themselves… like dejected souls, losing their wills to live. And as the wind came along, the leaves were tossed around like broken dolls.

I stood there for a long time, reminiscing about the past events that sought to change me. And my hand reached out for the falling leaves, feeling them as they brushed against my fingers, feeling the wretched agony of their helplessness. Yet there was nothing I can do, nothing at all.

It ends here.

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Sometimes, emptiness helps you find what you want in life

2007-03-20T20:25:00.000+08:00

What's left to say?

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For it should be cast away

2007-03-15T05:20:00.000+08:00

A much needed exorcism for my inner demons would be of upmost importance.

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The room of infinite silence

2007-03-14T14:31:00.000+08:00

Surrounded by silence as I stood alone in the room. The unbearable feeling of loneliness snaps upon me, torturous and unkind. I tried to get away, screaming silently, helplessly as only silence leaves my mouth.

And as I look around this dark room, all I can see is madness, lurking around the corners. Dark and beckoning, I can taste in my mouth, the rusty residue of the silence that seeks to engulf me.

I slumped, exhaustion taking full control of my body, guiding me as I slid off the wall I was leaning against.

This is the feeling of loneliness and the room is my enclosure.

The birth of a gem

2007-03-09T00:55:00.000+08:00

The flowers of life are coming to a blooming stage

What a breath taker, the new flavours of life, sprucing up the glooms in this incoherent world. How one would give up everything he has, in order to feel the joy in his embrace.

Of creations and destructions

For all the burning agony of destructive paths that engulfs us, there are the new creations that would bring eternal bliss. Creations that come in small little packages dropped into our grasps.

For even the finest gems need to be harvested

And from the beautiful sparkle that brings forth the gem, the glow shall fall upon me.

For my life is changed and I’m enlightened.

COPYRIGHT 2004 and onwards KELVIN GOH LENG WEE, No part of this document may be reproduced without written permission